Fragments Gallery
Same Old Ghost
"What's bugging you my friend?"
Abraham looked across the workbench at Rob. They stood facing each other across the broad table in the workroom. The workbench was a short way behind the front counter separating the workspace from the rest of the shop. Beyond that counter was a large front window through which they could see the falling snow and occasional shoppers wandering by. The sun was low, soon the shop would close and the pair would head out, but until then Abraham continued to work as Rob looked on.
"I'm fine." But at Rob's look he sighed and amended his answer, "Fine. You know. Same old. I'm worried about her."
"How so?"
"Same old... Ghosts."
"Oh," Rob looked at his friend, "So it's not really her then is it."
"Not really. At the moment... I just want to talk. I need to be sure that everything is ok with us. "
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I'm not sure… maybe I'm just being paranoid again."
"Maybe?" His friend asked looking across at him with a critical eye.
Abraham sighed, "Definitely then. I'm just worried. Worried that I've done something and now she actually isn't talking to me. Part of me tells me it's nothing but the other part…"
He trailed off and turned away from his friend. One hand began to idly trace a pattern on the wall.
"It's just… I'm worried; no I'm terrified, that I'm going to lose another friend this way. I've walked that path before and… it broke me. It took me years to recover, I-" Abraham broke off and turned to face his friend. A tear ran down the side of his face. "I can't go there again. I probably won't come back out. Back then, the first time all those years ago, I couldn't live with what I had said to my old friend then. Did I say anything really nasty? No, probably not. Maybe what I couldn't live with was that I'd lost a friend. I haven’t talked to that old friend since. Now… I'm a different person. A better person I think. But still I'm scared that it'll happen again."
"She told you it won't. That's a pretty straight up answer."
"But… what if I screw up? What if I’m so worried about messing things up that I unintentionally do? I'm off and on terrified of it now. Every now and then I find myself panicking. This worry… eats away at me."
Rob watched him silently, his eyes showed his understanding.
"I also... Feel like I owe her an apology. After what she said... I don't doubt her but still I doubt myself. The 'what ifs' swirl around in my mind," He sighed, "I think I need to explain, at least a little bit, of why I'm so worried. It's not because of her now. I think part, a large part, of this worry is not from now but back then. It is an irrational fear from my past, but I fear it'll come across as something of the present. She deserves an explanation."
Abraham stood motionless for a moment before turning back away from Rob.
"Is this something she really needs to hear? Probably not. Maybe I'm not acting any different, maybe she won't notice even if I am. But still I feel that I must make an apology anyways."
He sighed before continuing.
"We all do what we must I guess, no more and no less. I wouldn't feel right; it would get under my skin, if I didn’t do this. My sense of honour I guess. My honour is my life. Warrior's honour I've heard it called."
Abraham chuckled.
"Someone once told me that the only thing I could ever be was a soldier, a fighter. In a way that's true. Life itself is a war and we are all fighting our own battles. I don't know what the future holds; all I am sure of is that I will never stop fighting. Never."
Rob smiled at that, it was good to hear him say that after all this time. It was a good sign. He met Abraham’s eyes and nodded, Abraham returned the gesture. They had an understanding.
“I think I’m done here,” Abraham said looking around the shop, “Time to head home.”
Rob nodded and within a few minutes they were stepping out into the snow. Abraham swiftly locked the door and together the pair made their way down the lightly dusted sidewalk of packed ice."
Rob found himself nodding absently as Abraham spoke of inconsequential things, his mind lingered on what his friend had said before. His friend talking like that once more was a very good sign. Maybe he was finally healing.