Fragments Gallery
A Crossroads
"I feel so alone now."
My friend and I were sitting at a booth in an old coffee shop we both loved. We were illuminated by the golden rays of the late evening sun. He was troubled again, that worried me.
"When we finished our classes earlier on I thought that I'd seen the last of her, but then another project came up and we've ended up working together again. For a short time we were partners once more. Now we're done that and I know…" His voice trailed off.
I just waited, watching him patiently. He would speak again when he had organized his thoughts, but until then he just needed some time.
"I know that I'm going to miss her again. I have felt… as though," He hesitated and frowned, "I've felt as though I'm standing at a crossroads for the last few weeks, I want to tell her how I feel. I want to tell her that I want the chance to get to know her better. I-"
He cut himself off and sighed. After a minute had passed he finally looked up at me.
"I don't want to lose her without ever trying. I know that if I never try, if we each walk our separate ways, I'll regret it for a long time, maybe the rest of my life. But if I do say something and she doesn't feel the same way, or worse resents me for it… I think it would crush me again."
I just watch him, he had to work though this on his own, all I could do was be here for him.
"It's taken four years but just recently I'm starting to feel more… whole since the last time. I worry that if I take that chance again and I'm crushed next time I won't be coming back."
I nod, I can understand that. I had been there for him; I saw how bad it got.
"I'm so tired of everything now… I have been for a while, but I've continued on, after all what else could I have done."
He sighed and shook his head.
"I don't know. I just… I wish that she knew. I wish she knew that I'll always have time for her. But with that I worry. Would she ever have time for me?"
He drained his coffee with another swallow, then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.
"One way or another I just don't want to lose her."
"I know you don't," I responded, "I know."
We sat in silence as the sun faded and the lights flickered on in the coffee shop. It was some time before he began to speak again.
"She went traveling a few weeks ago. The pictures I saw on the trip were beautiful, but they filled me with sadness.… I realized then that I would have given anything to have been with her on the trip. Just to see her face, hear her voice and her laughter; that was all that I wanted."
He sighed.
“I’m going to miss her…” he whispered before falling silent once more.